Saturday, June 18, 2011

What Makes a Family

I am one of those people who has all sorts of notions in my head about what family should be. About what a family should look like. About what is best, in terms of what family should be doing, for the children involved who have no say yet.

These things have nothing to do with what sorts of couples should be allowed to marry each other (whether decided based on sex, sexuality, race, religion, age etc.) or how many children they should have (because quite frankly, if a couple wants zero children I am so all on board with that plan if it's right for them... in the exact same way I am totally on board with the couple who wants a dozen).

They have to do with what family means beyond the outward appearance of the people that make it up.

They have to do with loving each other, supporting each other, being there for each other. I feel it is important to not belittle or cut each other down, and that it is important to remember that family is forever and fight for those bonds to remain intact unless and until it reaches such a point where it will harm the people involved to continue. Even then, for me, family is still forever. I have certain family members with whom I have no relationship any more, by my own choice. And yet still, even now, if those family members were to be open to having a relationship with me that was healthy enough to not do harm to me or my children I would have it. I could never just be done, although I know I have family members who could/can.

Also family for me isn't just the people you are born with. I have a third whole family (my other Mom and her family) that I didn't have when I was born. I also have friends, no blood relation, who are some of the closest family members that I have.

Tomorrow I will be blessed to have some of my amazing family members with Malachi and the rest of us as he gets welcomed into our church family and also into our world in general as right after he was born I wasn't well enough to gather everyone to welcome him. I will have some of the family I was born with there... including my mother, my grandmother, several of my aunts and uncles, and some of my cousins. I will also have some of the family I got after I was born such as my brother and sister, and my mother in law and father in law. I will also have a family who are way to much to be "just friends"... aunt and uncle to my kids, and my children's youngest two cousins. Also known as my best friend, her husband (also an amazing friend) and their children. All of these people are taking time out of their busy lives to join and celebrate and support us tomorrow.Some of our family aren't able to be here but would really love to be but distance and poor timing (not a lot of notice on our part, and it's also Fathers Day) prevent it. They will be missed very much.

I am very excited about tomorrow. I love celebrations, and I love being with my family even more. Doing both together is best of all. I am so grateful to the people in my life who are family who gets it and care enough to be here with us (even if they aren't able to be physically here). We are blessed indeed.

1 comment:

  1. I love you Alison! I loved reading this blog....I get it...and I will always love you and your amazing family. xoxo