Wednesday, December 5, 2012


84 years ago today a 17 year old woman became a mother for the first time in Toronto, Ontario. She gave birth to a boy and named him Wesley Henry. He was the apple of her eye. She adored her son very much and he was her pride and joy and only child for almost 18 years until a sister was born.

That baby grew up into a man and got married... in a wonderful amazing story to a woman from a small rural area who moved to Toronto to try out the big city after falling in love with it after visiting to see a play with her father. The two married in February 1951 and at the end of the year a daughter was born and then in the six years following two sons arrived. Their daughter also grew up and gave them grandchildren and one of those grandchildren is me.

Me with Gramma and Grandpa at my wedding in 2008

All of the people in that room 84 years ago have now passed away, including that baby who became my grandfather. Last year was his first birthday that he wasn't alive for and I curled up in a ball and hid the whole day. My heart was raw and angry.

This year, this day was different. My heart is still raw and hurting and days like today bring so much crashing back like a wave. This year I was able to feel more than just pain though.

More than anything my grandfather loved the kids that were his. I remember him adoring my brothers and sisters and I and then once I had children I got to see that love renewed and multiplied. My oldest carries Wesley as one of his middle names, after his great grandfather who saw him as the apple of his eye.

Grandpa with Tobias at 4 days old

Grandpa loved Christmas. He especially loved watching us kids love Christmas. Today as we decorated our tree and sang Christmas songs and watched Charlie Brown Christmas Story and Rudolph in among my grief and pain was also love and gratefulness.

I'll always be Wes' granddaughter. I always be his girl. I will always miss him and I will always be grateful for all the time and memories we had.

Christmas 2007

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